Yeah your absolutely right, it's just that things really have evolved so much over the years which I've been fortunate enough to have been able to stay up-to-date with intimately.
Really can mix everything together now but approach and execution is what's crucial.
Just as an example, take a look at FastAccellStepper library - uses RMT peripheral registers directly but it's wrapped in a nice Arduino lib but uses IDF.
It performs very very well. Can likely be improved further to eek out higher pps than 200khz total via RMT. Which may explore in future if it's actually required...
Using Arduino frameworks to take care of the non-time-critical aspects such as config, setup, webui and logging and go deep on the raw time critical components such as motion, IO interrupts and networking/USB. All of those can be drivers or components as a modular architecture within the build system.
Firmware flash sizes can be reduced by removing lots of unnessecary components.
Designing a solution that's both feature rich and reliable would take a very very long time otherwise (10x at least). If used pure IDF then the codebase becomes an abstract nightmare for future maintainers and also requires specific skillsets, sure, little knowledge is dangerous but if rationale is documented in code properly then helps mitigate that risk somewhat.
Longer term, reliable, well documented is important.
Once it's at a state where people see it running on a machine with torture tests and the full feature-set then I think it'll convince you
I will be designing and selling professional EMI complaint boards in the future.
Can't do everything for free.
I've developed a UHF RFID (EPC GEN2) solution using ESP32-S3 via some proprietary asics and RF frontends and so forth so EMI isn't going to be an issue!
Rick Hartley is a board design legend and recommend his lectures to anyone