I made it!
I purchased that same USB to RS485 adapter and it worked at first try!
with the debug mode enabled (-g) i got constant messages about communication, zero errors though.
With the debug model disabled i could enable communication (setp spindle-vfd.enable 1) and after "show pins" i could see every parameter with its correct value. I could start "manually" the spindle with the terminal and once in linuxcnc i could start, stop, and set its speed flawlessly!!!
I will try to use the old USB to RS485 with a shielded twisted cable before blaming the device itself (i was using an unshielded ethernet twisted pair before).
Big thanks for all the help!