Recommendations for modern servo driven PM-833 mill build

I'm setting up a PM-833TV for cnc and I'm pretty set on Linux CNC at this point. I need a system with two Nema 34 and one Nema 42 servos. I've seen that the 7i96 seems to be the new go-to board and I'd probably pair that with DMM DYN4 drivers and servos but I'm curious if I'm missing better options in the same ~$1k board+servos+drivers price range. Delta has the ASDA-B3 series with Ethercat which is compelling from a wiring perspective but best I can tell the system prices are at least 2x what the delta system would cost. Is EtherCAT worth the upgrade cost? I'd also like to avoid having to have a separate power supply for the servos and just run everything off one 220v "2ph" line.

Any thoughts are welcome!

What are generally considered to be the least painful/best value servos to work with? I see recommendations for DMM, Delta, ClearView and a couple others. Is there any consensus as to what's easy to integrate with the mesa boards?

Is there a good way of determining what torque and power rating I need? The head is relatively heavy but I intend on adding a counterbalance to lower the force needed and reduce the wear on the ways. X and Y are extremely easy to turn given the oiler. even deep cuts in steel are relatively easy. It's an 800lb machine.

I'm looking at something like either 250W 0.8Nm, 2.4 peak XY and 750W 2.4Nm, 7.1 peak Z
or
750W 2.4Nm, 7.1 peak XY and 1.3kW 4.98Nm, 15.0 peak Z.

The latter is much closer to what others have done using steppers but those power numbers seem extremely excessive to the point of possibly being dangerous.

Thanks for the info, that's good to know. I'm trying to get into the ballpark first so I'm just looking for some coarse guidance to get started.