n00b: I might be an idiot? Set up help.

I will do all of that as soon as I get home.

The confusing thing is I am 99% sure the main board doesn't have a parallel port. I'll need to double check when I get home but I am pretty sure it is an Asus M3N78-VM

The back panel basically looks like this:

MF. Turns out there is one... it is internal. I never even thought to look for such a thing.

andypugh wrote:

Add one of these and you have a standard COM port.
www.amazon.com/StarTech-com-Profile-Para...racket/dp/B009JXK5UE

LinuxCNC allows you to use both at the same time.

Ordered.

My Asus board was the same way, and the bios had the address as 378

Leon82 wrote:

My Asus board was the same way, and the bios had the address as 378

Yep. I thought I was setting the pci parallel port to 0x378 this entire time.

Gentlemen(and ladies), the port and C11G is working. Motors moving on bench. All things seem good.

I sourced a local DB25 to whatever ribbon cable and hooked it up to the randomly discovered internal LPT port of mystery and we have motion!

Thank you all for helping point me in the right direction. Now I can hopefully begin the next building phases.