Its a Debian kernel issue.
The pristine source from kernel.org (which I used) does not exhibit the problem.
Also its not evident on non debian distros. I tried Arch Linux which was fine.
There is a current thread that shows how you can change settings in the grub command line and lists some changes between Buster and bookworm.
forum.linuxcnc.org/18-computer/47825-latency-test
It would be interesting to compare the kernal configuration settings of Debian with the pristine version to find the differences but thats beyond me.
It mght then be possible to fix the issue from the grub config.
The other issue with realtek is that Debian (not sure if its just Debian or is in the pristine source too) is that they have attempted to roll multiple Realtek drivers into one package. This works but is not optimal for network latency and is not how Realtek does it. A second driver package r8168-dkms is compiled at install time to the currently running kernel headers will give better support on some hardware but requires the pristine kernel to eliminate error finishing read. I might add that Hardkernel the Odroid guys state that the Debian r8125 driver is 15-30% slower than the Realtek driver and suggest building it on their hardware.
I have lodged a bug with Debian, but its not attracted any interest.