So....... this morning the Pi 5 has been quite stable in terms if ethernet comms. I might naively be thought to have caused this because I added 1x 0.1 uF and 1x 47 uF/16 V electrolytic capacitor across the blue terminal block (photo a couple of pages back) which is across the +5V / 0V rail.
I did this for a few reasons. First, because yesterday I plugged in the 7i96s while the Pi was running which may have caused the Pi to reset. Possibly the voltage at the Pi dipped due to 7i96s capacitance. I don't know if the Pi has any decent amount of power supply capacitance -- perhaps it is hidden under the heatsink (not a good place for electrolytic capacitors to live).
Second, the 5V/3A Meanwell PSU datasheet does not specify the output capacitance (or stability if you add capacitance). But in any case, the resetting of the Pi could suggest it doesn't have a lot of output capacitance.
Third, the 5V rail wiring is a bit long and all over the place, so could be picking up noise from other appliances, so this could suppress it a bit.
I also raised the Meanwell 5V rail voltage from 5.0 to 5.1V at the PSU terminals. Voltage drop in the wiring is about 100 mV according to my dodgy DMM, thus perhaps the rail was causing instability.
Well, things were quite stable, so I reversed all of the above and things are still stable !!! I can repeatedly send 50,000 packets with 1 ms spacing and get 0% loss.