So this custom kernel and using the correct realtek driver solves all issues!
I installed on a problematic i5 All in one and it seems to be running perfect now.
Be sure to use the XFCE graphical environment or issues will bite as the default gnome dektop uses wayland not Xorg so some things linuxcnc expects to find are missing.
Also Gmocappy will not run on Bookworm or Bulseye at present so that needs escalation to the developer. Don't blame me!
I've been through a complete rebuild from scratch so I will post up a seperate how to.
EDIT: I also lost the ethernet card like JT did too but I was able to resolve it.
Boot into the earlier kernel
sudo apt purge r8168-dkms
Reboot back into our custom kernel and the interface should be restored.
Then reinstall
sudo apt-get install r8168-dkms
Reboot to make it stick.